To Fly or Not To Fly

The D. A. called me last night at 7 pm to confirm that we are going to go flying and then to lunch on Sunday. He has a small plane and a passion for flying. When we were dating a year ago I asked him to take me up. He never did. He is very good-looking and very good on paper with his big law degree and his important job. A year ago I thought we had a spark.

I went to a wedding with him last weekend after months of zero contact. He called out of the blue, and I thought it might be fun to get dressed up for the evening. I was mainly in it for the cake and the dancing. He wanted a pretty girl on his arm and to feel me up. We were almost late and he had to drive like a crazy man.

The wedding was nice, at the botanical gardens. It was a young couple, too young to be getting married. The groom was the son of his work out partner. The ceremony was short and sweet. The reception was inside a large tent with air conditioning, passed hors d’ouvres, a simple buffet, and cheap wine. He is an extremely picky eater, to the point of being rude. “I don’t eat mayonnaise, or anything with mayonnaise in it, or anything fermented, or anything with cheese, I don’t like fruit or vegetables…and I don’t like this or that.” How embarrassing. “Can I have some dried out, plain chicken and bland steamed veggies without any flavor or life left in them…” I guess some people never learned to be gracious and polite.

The band was a great little blues and country cover band. They were showmen and really knew how to work the crowd. It was the high point of the evening for me. After the first dance, the dance floor was packed with young and old people having fun. He wouldn’t even dance with me so I danced alone with all the other disappointed ladies. After the wedding cake was cut we left. I barely had a chance to have a bite of my cake. It was only 9:30 pm. The wedding started at 7 pm. He was tired from kayaking all day. Great, I felt I’d dressed up for nothing.

At the wedding he asked me to go flying with him the next weekend and I told him I’d think about it. He said he’d take me to lunch, like real a date. Friday evening when he called to confirm our date he said I’d have to meet him at the airport because he HAS to go kayaking straight from the airport and there will be no lunch, and we can only fly for an hour…..
Moments later he asked me to dinner. I was walking my dog and I’d just eaten a bowl of lime gelazzi, Oscar had vanilla. Nothing like waiting until the absolute last minute. It always feels like his other plans fell through when he calls me and I am the last minute, backup girl.

Should I go flying or should I delete him from my life? (I actually know the answer to that question.) From his actions I know that we are not and will never be in a real relationship, or even be friends. It seems he only wants physical affection, but, only once in awhile, and when he has nothing and no one else to do. But, when we are together he is affectionate and seems interested. He said he wants to take me to Paris for a week in the spring. He thinks he is very skilled at his game but it is actually completely transparent.

So, he called me an hour before I was supposed to leave for the airport to ask for a rain check. I had no intention of going to the airport. He was busy the day and night before and didn’t get enough sleep, blah, blah, blah. He asked, “Can you reschedule for next weekend?”

“No. I have plans.” With a roll of my eyes.

“How about during the week, are you free in the morning?”

“No. I don’t think so, I work and school is starting in a week, I am really busy.”

“Well, can you at least go to dinner with me this week.”

“No. I am busy all week.” Thinking to myself…I have to clean my house, do laundry, wash my hair, and spend time with my dog and my cat.

“Ok, well, I’m gonna call you and ask you out, it was really great to see you the other night and hold you in my arms for a minute…” (Which is man code for I’m horny and you’re a warm body!)

I hung up the phone. He hasn’t called. I guess I will hear from him in a few months when he has some B-list event and can’t find a date.
Too bad, I won’t be answering my phone next time.

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